small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
