I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize