he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize