You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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