this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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