don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
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