Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
