i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Randomize