im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
