they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
