i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
