So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
