Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
