I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
