Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize