Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
