I smell stomach acid.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
