Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
