I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
