Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
"it" just moved
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
