I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
