dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
