I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
