I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
