Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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