I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
