she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
