I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
