Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
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