why didn't you poke me back
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize