I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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