Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize