She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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