My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize