Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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