Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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