how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
