Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
