Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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