Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize