Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize