You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
