Sry I called you an 8
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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