No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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