i need an iv and a liver transplant
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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