I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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