i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
