I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
