So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
