I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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