I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
