Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
