So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
