Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
