I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
