when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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