I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
