sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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