my mouth tastes like poor choices
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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