She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
