The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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