I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
What a dumb baby whore.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
