I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I deserve this hangover.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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