Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
