I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Screwed.edu
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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