is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
