Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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