She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
