We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
