ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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