Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
