After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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