can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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