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All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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