you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
