woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
