Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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