Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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