i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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