it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
