so let's talk penis.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
